No! No! No!

Gavin's favorite phrase right now seems to be, "No! No! Mom/Dada!" Grrrr. I know what he means. The "no!" bug seems to be catching, as in, "No, I can't take on any more work, thanks for asking" or, "No, I can't join you at XXX social function because I have a baby and I have to work (and I'm tired)," or, "No, I do not exercise anymore because I simply don't have the time." My life seems full of "nos" lately.

But what's really going on is that once again, I have over-committed my work schedule for the summer and now I'm paying the price and wallowing in self-pity over everything I'm missing out on. And the stress level seems much higher this year, probably because I am rushing to the computer to work everytime Gavin naps, trying to squeeze six hours of work into three. Of course, I am greatly blessed to have a fab husband who watches Gavin for me on his day off on Monday (seven hours this past week...with a little help from the grandparents!) and a good babysitter on Wednesdays, but the walls are closing in, folks. Combine the increased work load with a lack of husband time, lack of personal free time, and a baby that needs a lot of attention, and we are definitely looking at a recipe for self-combustion. But I do feel a little better just writing it all down. And I'm sure many of you have felt what I am feeling right now. It's the lie that we women can have it all...a career, a personal life, and as much time as we need with our husbands and kids. Darn that Gloria Steinem.

Okay, on to something happier and more productive.

Gavs finally decided to crawl a few weeks ago, at 14 months old! And then he took his first step just ten days later. So, we officially have a mobile child, and it is life-changing. My little darling is no longer content to sit and play with his toys for hours on end...now he wants to crawl across the room and eat the dust bunnies living under the couch. I must admit that it is fun to see him becoming his own little person, and I am beginning to catch glimpses of his personality to come. The main thing I notice about Gavin is he is VERY definite. He knows what he wants and what he doesn't want. Period. (Hmmm...I wonder where he got that?) Even at 14 months, if I offer him something he doesn't want he says, "No, Mama!" and pushes it away. If I give him a bite of something he finds tasty his eyes light up and he ecstatically exclaims, "Yum, Yum, Yum!"

And then there is his chattering. He always has something to say, and the vocabulary expands each day. Yesterday he pointed at some objects on a table and said, "Me want!" Wha?? How can he already verbalize what he wants? That is so crazy! But there it is. The one-word demands, as well: "Up!" "Yes!" "Top!" "Highchair!" "Car!" "On!" "Go!" "Dog!" "Pup!" "Pear!" "Peas!" "Sausage!" (Well, that one sounds more like saw-saw.)

I am amazed at this little guys's capacity and I love the way God made him--stubborn tantrums and all.

Okay, I think I just cheered myself up writing about my son. I don't feel as full of "No!" now.