No! No! No!

Gavin's favorite phrase right now seems to be, "No! No! Mom/Dada!" Grrrr. I know what he means. The "no!" bug seems to be catching, as in, "No, I can't take on any more work, thanks for asking" or, "No, I can't join you at XXX social function because I have a baby and I have to work (and I'm tired)," or, "No, I do not exercise anymore because I simply don't have the time." My life seems full of "nos" lately.

But what's really going on is that once again, I have over-committed my work schedule for the summer and now I'm paying the price and wallowing in self-pity over everything I'm missing out on. And the stress level seems much higher this year, probably because I am rushing to the computer to work everytime Gavin naps, trying to squeeze six hours of work into three. Of course, I am greatly blessed to have a fab husband who watches Gavin for me on his day off on Monday (seven hours this past week...with a little help from the grandparents!) and a good babysitter on Wednesdays, but the walls are closing in, folks. Combine the increased work load with a lack of husband time, lack of personal free time, and a baby that needs a lot of attention, and we are definitely looking at a recipe for self-combustion. But I do feel a little better just writing it all down. And I'm sure many of you have felt what I am feeling right now. It's the lie that we women can have it all...a career, a personal life, and as much time as we need with our husbands and kids. Darn that Gloria Steinem.

Okay, on to something happier and more productive.

Gavs finally decided to crawl a few weeks ago, at 14 months old! And then he took his first step just ten days later. So, we officially have a mobile child, and it is life-changing. My little darling is no longer content to sit and play with his toys for hours on end...now he wants to crawl across the room and eat the dust bunnies living under the couch. I must admit that it is fun to see him becoming his own little person, and I am beginning to catch glimpses of his personality to come. The main thing I notice about Gavin is he is VERY definite. He knows what he wants and what he doesn't want. Period. (Hmmm...I wonder where he got that?) Even at 14 months, if I offer him something he doesn't want he says, "No, Mama!" and pushes it away. If I give him a bite of something he finds tasty his eyes light up and he ecstatically exclaims, "Yum, Yum, Yum!"

And then there is his chattering. He always has something to say, and the vocabulary expands each day. Yesterday he pointed at some objects on a table and said, "Me want!" Wha?? How can he already verbalize what he wants? That is so crazy! But there it is. The one-word demands, as well: "Up!" "Yes!" "Top!" "Highchair!" "Car!" "On!" "Go!" "Dog!" "Pup!" "Pear!" "Peas!" "Sausage!" (Well, that one sounds more like saw-saw.)

I am amazed at this little guys's capacity and I love the way God made him--stubborn tantrums and all.

Okay, I think I just cheered myself up writing about my son. I don't feel as full of "No!" now.

Another Pick Up Story...Blah Blah Blah

Dang it. Why do I always get picked up by creepy men at the grocery store? I'm really not bragging since these are CREEPY men, but the stories are generally quite hilarious. This time I was at the Jewel in Evanston, not the best market around and definitely not known for an abundance of middle class white men.

I was walking into the store alone on Wednesday (a rare occurance) when a man in the first checkout line muttered, "Hey, girl," and cast a lingering glance toward my backside. Okay, so he was a very urban black man, probably in his mid-20s, with a woman accompanying him. Not cool. Typically I ignore these types of comments (what can I say, I have a bodacious booty) and walk away irked, but this time a bit of rage came out of me. I stopped in my tracks, turned around, and said, "Excuse me, but I'm married!" The dude looked away sheepishly and his female companion yelled, "You tell him, girl."

Okay, I will. I walked away very satisfied.

Gavin's Baby Dedication

Our sweet Gavin was dedicated to the Lord in during our Sunday morning church service this past weekend. Several of Joe's family members and some of our dear friends were on-hand to join us for the time of dedication. The following is what I wrote and read that day:

As I listened to Gavin sing to himself in his crib last night, I marveled at how this little person has become such an important part of our family in just 14 short months. I was taking a quiet moment to reflect on the sweet ways he has added to our lives when the singing stopped abruptly and Gavin began yelling, “Hey! Hey!” Over and over and over again.

There’s nothing like a new baby to get your attention. And there’s nothing like a first baby to bring dramatic change to the lives of a couple used to living “on the go.” It’s remarkable that God has entrusted Gavin to Joe and me, and even in the short amount of time he has been with us, we can see how our lives intersect, intertwine, and impact each others on a daily basis. Having a child has made it much easier for me to realize the extent of God’s love for us, as I now feel such a powerful love for Gavin. Whether he’s turning his yogurt upside down on his head or planting wet, sloppy kisses on my face, I’d like to think that there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for this little boy.

But there are challenges in parenting as well. Parenting requires us to die to ourselves, to exhibit an ultimate lack of selfishness. This has been personally tough for me since it has required me to alter many parts of my life and take on a new role—the role of a mom. But the good news is that the moment Gavin was born, God changed the course of my life in a unique way. I’m still on a journey, but now I’m holding a little boy’s hand.

Author Gary Thomas says, “Understanding God’s joy in his own creation is one of the more profound spiritual experiences we will ever know. Mothers and fathers, when you give your tiny infant a bath, you are washing God’s baby. Pause a moment in your busy day and look up to heaven. When you minister to that youngster, can you imagine God smiling down at you?”

And I do feel that God is smiling down on us today as Joe and I join with you--our family, friends, and church home to ask for your prayers as we dedicate Gavin to Him. We appreciate so much the support you have given us and Joe and I are thankful for the Godly influences that Gavin will have in his life as he grows up.

Black Hills, South Dakota

A few weeks ago I was in Rapid City, South Dakota for the Black Hills Harvest event. Who knew that Rapid City would be such a charming place? And who knew that this city of just 60,000 people would boast so many awesome coffee shops? I spent a lot of time at one of them, Alternative Fuel, working and drinking lattes...now that's the way to work!

I traveled to Rapid City by myself (e.g. without husband and baby) and worked there for three days before I was joined by the family. It was an eventful time as media came out in full force for the Harvest event; naturally, it was big news in a city this small, and that was a great blessing. All of the local network affiliates came to the arena and did several stories, and I accompanied Harvest spokespeople to interviews in-studio at NBC and ABC. It was really interesting to see the news set-up in a smaller market since I had previously only visited studios in large to mid-sized markets (think Larry King Live), and I was amazed and humored to see one anchor also operating his own camera! Shades of Anchorman...

My parents drove over from Utah and Joe and Gavin flew in from Chicago on that Sunday to attend the last evening of the crusade and to meet up for a few days of vacation. In an amazing act of God--because it was, indeed, God--my father asked Joe to come forward with him during the alter call at the end of the crusade and "prayed the prayer!" It was very cool to see all of the pastors that I've worked for for the past 10 or so years praying for him on the floor of the arena. Awesome! Please keep my dad, Jules, in your prayers for continued spiritual growth.

The five of us continued on to Custer State National Park the next day for a three-day stay in authentic log cabins at the Sylvan Lake Lodge. This was a spectacular spot in terms of natural beauty, and we were able to easily visit Mount Rushmore, Crazy Horse, Needles Highway, Buffalo Country USA (cool drive-through animal park where bears come right up to your car--windows closed, of course!), and the State Game Lodge for some buffalo sitings. We had a blast and were pleasantly surprised by how good the food was everywhere we went...lots of buffalo, though. If anyone wants more details about Custer, I am happy to pass it along since it was a great vacation spot.

We concluded our time in Rapid City with a quick visit with friends Scott and Ceri Engmann, who live in the area. Fun times!