The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

I'm learning that there are a lot of rewards and a lot of sacrifices in parenting. My rewards of late are heartwarming. Two days ago, with a mouth full of sweet potatoes, Gavs clearly said, "Ma-ma! Ma-ma!" Ahhhh. It warmed me down to my toes as he looked right into my eyes and assigned me a name no one else in the entire world has ever used to address me before.

And he rolls over both ways with ease. He's a tiny finger support away from sitting up. And he's completely frustrated that he can't yet crawl. We laugh as he lies on his stomach and bobs his head up and down as if he's trying to bang it against the ground to vent his feelings of helplessness over legs that won't quite cooperate in moving him to the toy he desires to touch. But very soon he will be able to grab any toy of his choosing, so I'll enjoy these last few days of pure baby helplessness. Crawling is one more little sign of his independence and of needing me less, and some parts of me want to delay that.

The sacrifices? Perhaps it's selfish, but I have no social life outside of having the weekly lunch or two with friends. Believe me, I am SO grateful for these women who are available to get together with me during day and the opportunity I have to set my own schedule. Otherwise, I would truly feel a prisoner of my own life some days. But I miss going out in the evening like nobody's business, and I'm not thrilled with this "taking turns" going out, alternating with my spouse. It would be nice to go out together more often, but it is expensive to do so when we factor in babysitting costs. And trading with another couple is hard with bedtimes and sleeping arrangements.

So back to going out in the evenings. I had three social engagements lined up for this week in the evening and was very excited about that prospect. But one-by-one, they all fell off the radar. A tapas dinner with other women that was cancelled at the last minute due to a medical emergency. A dinner with a group of friends that I couldn't attend due to Joe's work schedule. A going away party for some of my old CoOp office members, one block from my home, missed tonight because I wrote down the wrong date. That really sucks. The saving grace to this week and my unsocial social life is a dinner out planned with two girlfriends over the weekend. But watch out girls, I might get the flu at the last minute the way this week is going!

Okay, enough whining about my social life. I just really want to have one, but all in due time, I guess.