Change is in the Air

Have you ever been so busy that you suddenly realized that hardly anyone in your life knows what's going on with you? That's how I feel right now. And thank goodness for blogs when you don't have time to call people you would have liked to have called.

The last two weeks have been a doozy in the stress/life change departments. We're doing what we can to be flexible and leave our home whenever a realtor calls with a showing, so that's fun. And, we're waiting with anticipation for Joe's graduation from Northwestern on June 17 with his Masters in Product Design & Development, but of course there is that small detail of he and his team completing their final product. Needless to say, between that and job searching, he has been extremely busy.

So, working off that baseline (because we're a little bit insane, not to mention our insurance is due to expire in August), we decided to go ahead and schedule Gavin's surgery to close up an umbilical hernia. He had the surgery about ten days ago and I'm happy to report that he is doing really well. This is a condition he had at birth and it does close up for many kids by the age of three; unfortunately, his didn't, so we opted for surgery. All of you parents can empathize with how stressful it is to watch your child go in for surgery, so you can imagine what a relief it was when they called us in to the recovery area and let us help wake him up. After a little bit of crying and wanting his daddy (yes, he is the ultimate daddy's boy), he asked for a gyro sandwich, so that's when we knew he'd be okay!

But as worriesome as that surgery was for our family, it actually wasn't the most stressful part of my week. The day prior to Gavin's surgery I went in for my 20-week ultrasound, the one where you typically find out how the baby is doing. I honestly didn't realize how anxious I was about this until I began exhibiting physical symptoms. Sleeplessness, upset stomach, and my blood sugars shot through the roof to the point where I almost picked up the phone to let my endicrinologist know I was ready to go on insulin. I didn't link these symptoms to my appointment until my mom pointed it out to me and I had to examine why I was feeling so stressed. Bottom line: I had an overwhelming fear of something being wrong with my baby--especially things like Downs Syndrome that can be easily identified on a Level II ultrasound.

I'm sure this is a fear for many moms, but it really made me question myself. As an over-40 mom, am I too old? How would we handle a problem with our child? My severely handicapped niece just died in November and I witnessed first-hand the energy that my brother and sister-in-law poured into her sweet life over eleven years. And then there is the issue of the fibroids, which made an ominous appearance during Gavin's birth.

But, God is ever-faithful and gave me great peace during the appointment. He certainly would have walked us through this sort of situation (and who knows what is still to come), but the ultrasound revealed a very healthy baby and a good situation so far. Oh yeah, the fibroids are huge again and I may have to have a c-section, but you know what? That is really the least of my worries. How funny that it was my largest concern just three years ago.

And God has a sense of humor!! Joe and I went into the hospital chapel to give a word of thanks after my appointment and the Bible in chapel was opened to Psalm 92:12-15.

The righteous will flourish like a palm tree,
they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;
planted in the house of the Lord,
they will flourish in the courts of our God.
They will bear fruit in old age,
they will stay fresh and green,
proclaiming, "The Lord is upright;
he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in Him."

How's that for a promise?